i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
