If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
