I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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