He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
