we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize