Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
cat food counts as protein by the way
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think my moral compass just broke
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
