Duck Duck Cougar?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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