I wannas sexs uuuuu
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
