its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sober January is a disaster.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
