haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
