I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
