I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
