Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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