it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we have pet lesbian snakes
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
