You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
