Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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