the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
