so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
