the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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