Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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