it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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