Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize