Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
