i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
