take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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