I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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