She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
