ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
