Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
