there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
