what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
