Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize