Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm like, not good at living.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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