One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
