Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
