Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
