Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
