It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My vagina is officially offended.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
