Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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