Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
