Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
