I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
