That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
