I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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