Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My hand turned me down
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
