I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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