home. puking in laundry basket.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
