i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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