How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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