i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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