Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
