i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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