Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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