If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
