Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
