just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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