called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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