I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
