sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
