So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
