Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
