Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
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