i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
