i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im six kinds of drunk right now
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
