I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
