You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
